Flirtexting is a strategy. It goes beyond what you’re wearing or what your body language says (which is what is most important in real life flirting), mainly because it involves technology, gadgets, and 3G coverage.

And where there’s technology, some get scared.

“I don’t know how to work this” or “It’s too complicated for me” coupled with a hair toss and a laugh are phrases that I hear often coming from friends, co-workers or former sorority sisters (sorry girls). 

Ladies, it’s 2010 – let’s take the power back in our lives and embrace these new technologies.

Sure, I admit that sometimes it works in our favor to act like we don’t know how something works so that boy/man/crush teaches us a thing or two.

But what if the tables were turned and you taught the guy something about his Blackberry, demoed a new app for the iPhone or gave the DL on Foursquare?

Here are a few techy tips that will impress any guy.

1)      Learn a few keyboard shortcuts for your mobile phone. Everyone wonders how to jump back to the newest email on a BlackBerry (press N in a message) or how to add your PIN to a message without looking it up (type mypin)

2)      Know 2-3 names (and definitions) of cool new gadgets or software that you can bring up in conversation, like the Google Nexus One, Amazon Kindle/e-book readers, Motorola Devour, Windows 7.

3)      Learn how to customize your Twitter background. Few know how, and you’ll look awesome (plus you’ll stand out!)

4)      Research how to properly set your privacy settings on Facebook and save yourself a few embarrassing moments. Plus when he looks you up on facebook, you’ll be a mystery to the public until confirmed.

Guest blogger AME is the founder of Techyness.com, where she blogs on life, love, and the pursuit of techyness.

1. He says things like ” I’d love to take you out soon”

2. He makes plans based around something you said you liked (You mentioned you like jazz so he asks you to a jazz concert)

3. He lets you control the remote

4. He shows up right on time to all your dates

5. He picks up the phone to call you and see how your day went

6. He answers the phone when you call, even if it’s to tell you he has to call you back

7. He sends you an article he thought you might like

8. He’s super nice to all your friends and makes sure they’re having a good time when everyone is out

9. He accompanies you to the latest romantic comedy, no matter how much it might ruin his reputation

10. He texts you back within an hour

It’s no secret that the first thing a girl does after giving out her number to a new crush is check out his Facebook page. That is why it’s VITAL to a guy’s game that he has a somewhat appropriate Facebook profile pic.

Recently we gave some of our close guy friends a Facebook Profile Makeover.  After reviewing thousands of facebook tagged photos of our handsome, charming, and hilarious guy friends, we had a mini revelation. In every picture they were behaving like adolescent teenagers circa spring break 1999. In other words, they looked ridiculous.

We know that sometimes alcohol, a table at a flashy club, and the newest Jay-Z hit can get the best of our friends, and snapshots of these nights tend to always make their way to profile pic status.  We love them nevertheless. However, to the naked eye (i.e: a new girl you’re crushing), a profile pic of you popping a bottle, with your shirt unbuttoned to your stomach, wearing sunglasses A) inside and B) at night, is NOT the digital first impression you want to be making.  

That is why we’ve compiled a list of the 25 worst things a guy could be doing in his Facebook Profile Pic. Consequently, our research has also inspired a new Fan Page on Facebook we created called Ridiculous FB Profile Pics. Check it out for a good laugh and post some good one’s that you’ve come across!

25 Biggest Facebook Profile Picture Turn Offs and Instant Deal Breakers:

(If you discover you’ve been tagged under any of these circumstances, detag immediately!)

1. Picture of you drinking or doing shots of any kind (including but not limited to: body shots, jell-o shots and tequila shots)
2. Picture of you passed out
3. Picture of you with your eyes half closed looking as though you’re about to pass out
4. Picture of you with a popped collar (1997 called and they want you to know that look will never be okay…again)
5. Picture of you in a t-shirt that has the word F*ck on it
6. Picture of you sporting a sunburn (not a healthy look)
7. Picture of you wearing a burnout tight v-neck t-shirt
8. Picture of you hanging all over girls or vice versa
9. Picture of you wearing a fake mustache
10. Picture of you fist pumping
11. Picture of you holding a red plastic cup
12. Picture of you sticking out your tongue or the middle finger
13. Picture of you dancing on a table/booth
14. Picture of you from Halloween or in any goofy lookin costume
15. Picture of you popping any sort of bottle
16. Picture of you with your shirt off (a sign that you’re most likely friends with “The Situation”)
17. Picture of you with your shirt half way unbuttoned
18. Picture of you wearing a shirt with drink stains on it
19. Picture of you wearing a shirt with arm pit stains on it
20. Picture of you wearing sunglasses….indoors
21. Picture of you wearing goggles (ridiculous we know, but we’ve seen it)
22. Picture of you wearing girly looking jewelry
23. Picture of you modeling
24. Picture of you wearing a bandanna
25. Picture of you wearing guyliner

TIP: Pictures that will leave you looking desirable to your crush: any photo of you with a puppy or a baby, a picture of you in a tux, or a photo of you actively taking part in a sexy sport, like  surfing, wake-boarding or soccer = hot hot hot!

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Heeeeey boysssss…. lookin’ good (wink and shotgun). As it turns out you LOVE texting us as much as we do…if not more. You’re the ones who have to wear your heart on your sleeve and get up the nerve to ask us out. You have to live with the idea that with every girl you ask out, there’s a 2:1 chance she’ll shoot you down. Bless your hearts. What we’re about to share with you, will make catching a girl ten times easier than whatever it is that you’re doing now. It’s called flirtexting and we believe you two have met.

Now that you’ve resorted strictly to texting us instead of calling, its time you know our likes and dislikes on this topic. We know you have your doubts, fears, questions and concerns about flirtexting just like we did. You’re not sure what to text, when to text, if we understood you were only joking when you told us to send you a naked text, etc. Well fellas never fear cause we’re about to give you the inside scoop on how to score any girl you want through text. After all, it’s because of your texting efforts that we wrote a book about it in the first place .

Now that you have officially been introduced, what are you waiting for? Check it out! Flirtexting. Oh, and don’t let the pink cover fool you. For the same reasons smart girls bought The Game, guys on top of their game buy Flirtexting. Let the games begin.

We all know that dating and bbm do not go together. We’ve talked about when it’s appropriate to exchange bbm pins and when it’s not. But what happens when you do exchange pins with a person you are dating and then stop dating that person?

If you delete him from your bbm list then you are giving away power. We all know that when an ex suddenly appears missing from a bmm or facebook list, it was because you were hurt or upset by the situation, and seeing their name on any friend list is too much to handle.

It’s tough sometimes to have an ex on bbm because bbm allows people to be even more accessible than text (if you can believe). Plus, it gets annoying knowing the whereabouts of an ex at every moment when he’s constantly updating his status next to his name: Adam – Skiing!

Something that has helped me that you might not know about is that you are able to make categories out of your bbm friend list. So instead of having all 30 friends in one long bbm thread, you can categorize them in any way you like! For instance, my categories for some time, were: BFF’s, Buddies, and Boys. This is extremely useful when your ex, Adam, who once showed up first on your bbm list, now shows up last because you categorized him under “x”.

When I want to delete someone but don’t want to give up the power, this is my go to move. By doing this, I am able to temporarily hide their name from myself, until I am ready to either add him back to my normal list of friends (whom I don’t have feelings for), or until it’s been long enough to delete him from my list without him noticing or caring.

Another option is to manually change his bbm name to something like “Jerk” or “what was I thinking”. This is always a surefire way to restrain yourself from reaching out to him or answering him when he reaches out to you.

Happy BBM’ing!

Deb

When I was growing up, poking was what I did to my sister when I wanted to annoy her. Therefore, it’s strange to me that the word ‘poke’ would mean anything other than “to bother or annoy.” Yet, today, Facebook has instituted a friendly version of ‘digital poking’ as a way to reach out.

As a little sister (both in life and at heart), it’s hard for me to imagine any kind of poking, digital or physical, that isn’t annoying. On the digital front, poking someone on Facebook seems to be the smallest amount of effort humanly possible to tell someone “hello.” It has been my experience that the people who typically send pokes are either:

1. Strangers (because it would be weird if they sent a message)
2. Classmates from the second grade (because they don’t really want to reconnect, but they want to let you know they are watching you)
3. An insecure crush (because he’s too shy to send a message, text, or call, so he sends a little nudge/poke to test the waters)

Based off the research I have done during long road trips with my sister and the assessment I have taken from the sorts of people who poke me on facebook, I have concluded that people, in general, don’t like to be poked (especially ladies).

Mind your manners,

Deb

Guilty. We both have done it and afterwards think we’ve never been better. The charge? A verifiable case of the “I’m so over you, this is the last time we’re hooking up” high. This is essentially, well… false hope.  This false hope stems off a high we get after we hookup with the guy we’re trying to walk away from. We think we’re done after that last hookup and then crave him back when we don’t hear from him or realize that we just weren’t quite ready to cut things off.

I just got the false hope call the other day from a girlfriend. She called me the day after her rendezvous. “Yeah, I feel totally over him. He just will never be ready and I’m over waiting for him,” she told me excitedly. Pan to two days later when Mr. Wrong doesn’t call or text her.  She looses her cool and wants his attention again. And so the cycle begins.

“For real this time,” she swears as she calls me the next morning from a cab coming from his apartment. This was attempt number three of her walking away.

The last time hookup high lasts about a good 24 hours and starts to really ween into 48 hours when there’s been little or no contact from the guy. The cure: don’t go in expecting that the last hookup is going to give you closure.  In fact, it does the complete opposite: accelerates your desires.  It’s super important to recognize that you’re “enough is enough” ‘tude post hookup will die tomorrow. You will probably be loosing your cool and acting out by then ie) erratic text messages and facebook stalking, so setup realistic expectations for yourself.  Perhaps avoid going cold turkey and just start distancing yourself in baby steps.  Head high.  Dignity intact.

Love. love.

Oliv

With all the rejoicing and mistletoeing going around, the holiday season has really become a time to reflect on the past year and with that past flings. The holidays are a great excuse to shoot a flirtext to past cuties that you’d like to reconnect and possibly catch up with in 2010. Its also just thoughtful and kind to shoot someone a text to let them know you’re thinking of them and to wish them a happy healthy ahead. It’ll make you feel good to make these re-connections. So whip out that phone, go through your address book and see what everyone’s up to. Don’t be surprised if you land a few dates in the new year. Afterall the new year is a new start, so start it off right with a flirtext!

Happy New Year flirtexters!

Deb n Liv

Facebook, text, IM, BBM, phone call, pin. With so many different ways to *communidate today it’s a puzzle trying to figure out which outlet to use and where to draw the line. This definitely is the biggest challenge facing the dating world today. How do we keep ourselves mysterious if we continue to be front page news feed fodder?

I find myself guilty of wanting to write something funny on a crush’s Facebook wall, then comment on his picture, BBM him for plans later, and email him a funny link I just received. Knowing what I know about guys liking a little mystery around a girl and the fact that they love a chase, I am aware that doing all of these at once is social suicide.

The trick is to remember that it’s all a balancing act. Be mindful that if you saturate the communication lines early on, your love connection will burn out quicker than you can text “game over”.  The key is to restrain our ‘reach outs’ and remember that less is more. Choose the best medium by questioning your options: Is the email link funnier than the Facebook comment you were just going to post? And so on and so forth. Choose one and stick to it.  This will make you approachable while holding onto your precious mystery.

TTYL,

Olivia

*Communi-dating: How we date through our various forms of digital and wireless communication, i.e., text, BBM, e-mail, phone, Facebook, Match.com, etc.