It was an itch for curiosity. Our book just hit bookstores last week and we were d.y.i.n.g to see and hear the reaction from like minded flirtexting consumers. So we thought: Field trip!! This past week we hit our local Barnes and Noble and here’s how it all went down:

1. We Took Ridiculous Pictures. We located Flirtexting in the Self-Help section of the bookstore and proceeded to take lots of silly pictures near it (I mean, wouldn’t you?). After spending about 5 minutes exchanging emphatic “omgs” and fist bumps and another 5 pretending to be reading it and drawing lots of unwanted attention to ourselves, we did what all proud authors do…..

2. We Gave Flirtexting a New Home: The Bestsellers Table. Dreamy. We took our books right off the shelves of the 2nd floor and relocated them to prime territory on the first floor, first table, facing the entrance. There were a couple security guards standing near by, but a little smile and a wink wink took care of that. And lastly…

3. We Silently Stalked. We moved to the side and watched everyone who glanced, stood near, or picked up our book. Our first taker was basically a dream come true. She walked right up to it and phoned a friend on her cell phone. She proceeded to to read aloud excerpts and say things like “omg this is amazing”, and “where was this book 5 years ago”, and “who are those two random girls starring at me?” Okay, she didn’t really say that one, but her praise was a huge complement to all the hard work we put into Flirtexting and truly made our day. She bought it and then the next two super hot girls who came in bought it, and just like that, we were sold out of B&N Union Square, NY.

Buyers disclaimer: We promise no more silent stalking at bookstores. It was a one time ordeal.

FLIRTEXTING has hit book stores nationwide! Flirtext your way into a Barnes and Noble and pick up a few copies!!

Because the more you know, the better you flirtext.

Peace. Love. Text.

Liv and Deb

In light of the popular movie He’s Just Not That Into You, we decided to let our male counterparts in on the most basic things us GIRLS text you GUYS when we don’t want to date you. Instead of being honest and telling you that you’re a great guy but this isn’t going to work out (ie: “you’re a great guy, but i’m not over my ex”, “you’re really great, but im not ready for a relationship”, “you’re super wonderful, but too young/old for me”) we’ll say certain things in our texts to get that message across without actually having to say it. The following is a list of 10 tell-tale signs that we GIRLS are Just Not That Into You!

We’re Just Not That Into You If:

1. You call us and leave a voice mail, and we text you our response.
2. We take longer than 48 hours to respond to your text.
3. We text the excuse, “sorry things have been crazy busy, how are you?” We don’t care.
4. We check our phone for messages after a make-out sesh. If it was that good we’d be too tired to check our call log.
5. You ask us out over text and we give you the runaround, i.e.; change the subject. Example Guy- “When are we hanging out?” Girl – “Hey! Haven’t talked to u in forever. How bout them Lakers?”
6. Our text ends with “you dream big.”
7. We cancel a date using the term “rain check.” We’re in a recession. We should want to cash in.
8. We leave our cell phone on the table or in our lap during a date, indicating our mind is elsewhere.
9. You text us you are in town visiting until Sunday and we respond to that text on Monday.
10. You discover we’ve been emailing, facebooking, and bbming, and NOT texting, because you don’t have our number.

Over the past weekend, I had a lovely dinner with my dear friend in the delicious east village ramen noodle bar, Momofuku. The pork buns are epic. Over these miracles buns, we started talking about what our dating lives were like BC (before cells). And it got me thinking….

Here’s what life looked liked BC: I would go out for the night, come home and be informed by my Mom that the hunky Senior boy I’ve been crushing finally called. Yeah-he called! Bummer-I missed it. It was a time of slow and traditional courtships that required boys to put some thought and work into getting a girl they liked to go out with them. Dating BC wasn’t easy for the guys. There was plenty of home line phone-tag, sweet-talking with my Mom before she passed the phone on to me. Then hours of phone time with moi before I agreed to a date. And lastly, walking up to my door to greet my Dad before our date (because I was not about to let you off easy by waiting outside).

I question, can you keep traditional courtship in a cell-phone toting world?

We have no one to blame but ourselves, ladies. We have allowed ourselves to become too reachable to the boys we date. Therefore, subconsciously we have ok’d boys to become lazy in their courtships. By immediately answering his every call, text, email, you’re telling him “I’m here, always and forever, whenever.” I’ve stopped myself from saying things like “Let’s talk about this over the phone or in-person.” As a result, I’ve received serious detail filled date invites over text and responded. I’ve gotten the “what are we” talk over BBM and responded. I’ve received the “Hey it was great meeting you the other night” over Facebook and responded. Just because technology allows me to instantly respond, doesn’t mean I should. Every one of these approaches that I may not have deemed appropriate to be done over my phone, I’ve consented by merely….responding. What did I learn? It keeps happening because I respond.

Its time to train ourselves to pull back and insert tradition back into our lives and the phones in them:

1. On major nights you go out, leave your phone at home or turn it off. This not only avoids drunk texting but also makes you less likely to answer LNBT (decode: late night booty texts). Try it one night, you’ll reap the benefits in the morning.
2. Wait til he calls. If he is constantly contacting by ways of email, text, Facebook and/or BBM. Don’t answer.
3. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Next time say: “Hey, lets talk later in person or over the phone” OR if you’re feeling sassy say,”1999 called and it wants to hear your voice and so do I. Call me.” Start setting the tone for what type of relationship YOU want.
4. Kick it back, old school. There’s nothing better than getting a home line with an answering machine. It’ll also help weed out Swingers-style calls. Give it out to any cutie and let the phone tag begin and hence curiousity build. It’s a good thing.
5. Train yourself to stow the cell. That means keeping it in your purse and not on the dinner table. We’ve allowed our phones to do the talking for us, take back the power. Just because others have it out, doesn’t mean its OK for you to. Stow the cell and others will follow your lead.

I’m going to start leaving the phone at home more often when I go out at night. Stay tuned for the results;)

Peace. Love. Text.

Olivia

We are both honorary Blackberry users and live in a Blackberry induced city. Most of our friends own one and therefore participate in the phenom of BBM* (If your not familiar with BBM see footnote below). When it comes to BBM, we’re always asked the same question:

When is it OK to exchange BBM Pins with the guy/girl I’m seeing?

Our answer: After a few dates and once you’ve both decided to see more of one another.

You may be wondering, why wait? Why not just exchange BBM’s right away? A BBM is a very different animal than the Text Message and should therefore be held off on till you are certain the relationship is heading into serious-ville. The difference in sending a Text versus a BBM is the crucial element of time. A BBM will show you the time a message is sent (marked by the letter D, for delivered) and the time that same message is read (marked by the letter A, for accepted). When you send a text you have no idea what time the recipient read your message, making the excuse “oh I didn’t get your message til just now” your go-to response if ever questioned. BBM exposes the time you read a message, making snubs, disses, and rejection unavoidable.

Here’s where the trouble lies.

Say you’re at dinner with your friends and you receive the following bbm from your crush “hey. whatchu doing later?” You read it immediately (because that’s what you do) but don’t respond back right away because you’re discussing how amazing this weeks episode of Gossip Girl was with your friends, and don’t want to be rude by typing away on your Blackberry at dinner. Plus, you don’t know what your plans are for later so you put your phone away and decide you’ll write him back once you know. Meanwhile, he knows you got and read his message and are not writing back. Snubbed? Hardly, but that’s what it looks like. He doesn’t know you are at dinner with your friends, all he knows is that he sent you a message at 8:45pm, you read it at 8:47pm, and now its 10:00pm. Burned. Your lack of response = him becoming a little pissed. And depending on how secure he is, he may even think you’re a little r.u.d.e. and call you out on it.

Spotted: An unnecessary, uncomfortable, yet easily avoidable situation. Now later on when you talk to him you’ll have to apologize for not writing back right away, when in reality, you shouldn’t have to apologize for enjoying a fun evening out with your friends. If he had just sent a text, then this awkward exchange could have been avoided.

Simple Solution: Stick to text messaging til you know where your relationship is headed. It will save you unneeded drama and keep the essential mystery that you need to surround you at the beginning of a new relationship. Hold onto your PIN until you’re ready to take the next step.

TIP: For a super ah-mazing secret on how to read entire BBM’s sent to you without letting the other person know you read it (aka, that pesky A symbol), pick up our book FLIRTEXTING! We reveal all and it won’t disappoint!

*For Blackberry users there is something called Black Berry Messenger, or as the cool kids call it, BBM. Basically it’s instant Messenger that’s free and exclusive to Blackberry users. Each Blackberry has a certain ‘PIN’ that you exchange with another Blackberry user so that you can be added to their list of ”friends’. Once you become friends with this person, their name will appear on your friend list, just like Instant Messenger. You can change your ‘screen name’ at any time, which often people do when they change cities, or are watching a Lakers game: i.e. Jason – NY or Jenna – Go Lakers!