Nothing spells trouble more than sending a text to someone who it wasn’t meant for!

Mistexts happen when we’re overcome with emotion. For instance, say you just got home from an amazing first date with this guy Jason. Right after he drops you off, you grab your cell to text your bff Sarah that Jason turned out to be a TOTAL DREAMBOAT! So you type up the following text and press send: “Jason is such a hottie!! Seriously, I think I’m in LOVE! Send out the save-the-dates now!!!” It takes you about 2.5 seconds after pressing SEND to realize that you accidentally sent that super embarrassing text to Jason, and not to your bff Sarah – who is dying to hear how it went.

Right about now is when you decide you can either, move to the North Pole and hope they don’t have cell service there, or begin mapping out a plan for damage control. Since thermals and parkas aren’t really your style, you start writing Jason a follow up text. You assure him that while you had a great time on your date, you were only kidding about getting married to him next week – you’re busy anyways so it would have to be sometime in late Spring ; ).

This is the most common form of mistexting that happens. Both Jason and Sarah were on your mind, and all the excitement mixed with trying to send a message on a machine the size of a gum packet, caused you to have a monumental mistext. You did the right thing by calling yourself out on the mistake and not denying it. Owning up to a mistext is the best form of damage control, but prevention is always best. Be sure to ALWAYS double check the “TO” section of a text message, especially if the message contains potentially embarrassing information or gossip about a hottie you just went on a date with!!

Have you ever had a monumental Mistext?? Tell us about it! What was it and what did you do?

“Because it helps me distinguish the desperate from the not desperate girls. Response time says a lot about a person.”—Josh (a flirtexting hottie)

Imagine this secenerio:

“You just received a flirtext from your crush. You’re stoked because you’ve been thinking about him all day and were wondering if he was doing the same. The minute you receive his text you begin writing the first response that comes to mind . . . and then press send. Five, ten, thirty minutes go by and he still hasn’t written back. You begin to F-L-I-P out and are certain his silence is due in part to your lame, impulsive text. You can’t believe you wrote back, “Stop it! That’s soooo hilarious Pete!”

In the quiet meantime, you start driving yourself crazy coming up with a half dozen better flirtexts which you are certain would have elicited a faster response. You swear to yourself that when and if he finally writes back, you’ll be more patient with your next response to ensure the LOL you so rightfully deserve. Or at the very least, a timely response.” (Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way Into His Heart)

Rule number one if successful flirtexting:

1. Never text the first thing that comes to mind!

Be patient and calm. Disaster strikes when you send a flirtext before it’s primed and ready to go! Even if the hottest guy in school just sent you a flirtext, and you know he has football practice in two minutes, you still need to WAIT! Not only will it make you look more desirable (i.e., it shows you’re not sitting around, twirling you hair, waiting to respond immediately to all his flirtexts,) but it could save you from huge embarrassment! When we are excited and overcome with emotion is when tend to make the most mistakes when sending texts.  Sending the response, “I would love to go to the fart party with you!” when you meant to say “I would love to go to the frat party with you!” could make or break your date! Proof read all your flirtexts before sending and wait a little while before pressing send. For more tips on ways to create the best possible text and when exactly to press send, check out our book Flirtexting, in stores now.

What is sexting?

Sexting is the act of sending suggestive, bold and sometimes provocative text messages/and or photo texts, to spice up an existing relationship. Sexting should only happen between two mature adults who are in a committed relationship.

What is the difference between Flirtexting and Sexting?

Flirtexting is what you do in the beginning stages of a relationship to build a connection. Sexting are suggestive flirtexts that are bold and blunt used to spice up an existing relationship. You need to assume the dangers of sexting before you partake in it and proceed with caution.

What are some of the dangers of sexting?

Having your photo or sext forwarded against your will is the most common danger related to sexting. It causes immense embarrassment and humiliation and can also lead to child pornography charges (if you are a minor), being expelled from school and having your reputation ruined.

How can I avoid sexting?

Just say NO. Every guy we asked said that they will respect you more for not sending a sext (even if they ask for it). If you like the guy and want him to respect you, just tell him that you’re
not that kinda girl and leave it at that.

What is the “right” way to sext?

The best kinds of sexts are one’s that are done tastefully and in a way that still leaves a little to the imagination. Be playful, fun and bold and always leave some mystery by not revealing all.  (For specific tips on how to do this, check out the “How to Spice Up and Exhisting Relationship” section of our book Flirtexting.)

Assume the dangers if you decided to partake in sexting. Do it only with someone who you are in an adult, committed relationship with and who respects you. Only send things you would be okay getting released on the front page of the newspaper or to your entire address book. It happens.

What GUYS have to say about sexting…

 “I will still like a girl if she doesn’t send me a sext. In fact, I will like her more.”

“If a girl sends me a naked photo of herself, I will show it to my friends. That’s what they are good for. It gives you bragging rights.”

“Sometimes I will ask a girl to send me a sext message just to test her to see if she will do it or not. The girls that do it I immediately lose respect for and know they are just good for a “good time.” The one’s that say no, I end up liking so much more. Those are the girls I want to date because it shows she has respect for herself.”

Hey Tiger!!

That was a great speech you gave today! I especially enjoyed the teary eyes, long pauses and deep stares you gave into the camera when you said, “I’m sorry.” Nice touch! Very believable. You should be in the movies. Or on the E! channel!

Anywho, my favorite part was when you said, “I convinced myself that normal rules did not apply to me. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to….thanks to money and fame. I was wrong. I was foolish.” (Tear.)

Foolish? That doesn’t even scratch the surface. I know a lot of people out there are saying things like, “you’re only human, you cheated, no big deal.” UMMM, NBD??  You cheated on your wife with like a million different women! Literally. We’re not talking, ‘I’m bored so let me see what it’s like just this one time’ cheating. We’re talking, ‘I can’t keep track of all the names, flirtexts, and possible babies I have out there’ kinda cheating. Two, totally different things. I mean, seriously, you inspired a new word by how much adultery you committed (see: Infidelitexting)!

I do applaud you on being so believable though. I was quite entertained. BTW, who wrote that speech? I’d loooove to get his or her name in-case I ever have to make a really great, politically correct apology to the media one day. Thanks in advance !

Peace. Love. Safe Text.

Debra

A clip of Tigers’ Speech

I just watched Maid of Honor where Patrick Dempsey’s character realizes that he’s in love with his best friend, played by Michelle Monaghan.  After I finished watching, I thought about all my girlfriends and how often they’ve had a best guy friend profess his love or put a move on them, sometimes to their surprise.  Somewhere down the line, you or your best guy friend can develop that ”ahHA” moment.  Whether it’s shortlived, merely experimental, or turns into something unexpected, it’s totally normal to feel confused by it. 

Has this ever happened to you?  How’d it turn out?  Do you think it’s good to act on it when a guy friend hits on you?  Tell us your thoughts in the comments section below!

Read the rest of the entry »

Valentine’s Day Special!!

Enter HERE to win a FREE, Autographed copy of FLIRTEXTING!

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Don’t have a date for Vday? Don’t fret! We’ve created a Top 10 list of super fun activities for you to do that will make your couple friends wish they were single!

Top 10 Things For Singles To Do On Valentine’s Day (to make the day just as special for you!)

1. Throw a Anti-Vday party with your single girlfriends. Cook dinner, play Taboo, watch MTV’s documentary on Dangers of Sexting (9pm), gossip.

2. Grab a few of your girlfriends and hit up a Singles Vday Party in town. They ususally offer free beverages and a chance to meet someone new outside your circle of friends.

3. Finally go pay Grandma and Grandpa that visit you’ve been talking about. Out of state and out of mind.

4. Pick up that hobby you’ve been wanting to try: learn to cook, try a spin class, take guitar lessons.

5. Prank call or text boys from your past and leave cryptic messages, like “It’s Jane. We met a few weeks ago and I wanted to see if you wanted to go out tonight…” (I know this is slightly immature but it’s actually pretty funny to see how many respond favorly).

6. Netflix a season of a hit T.V. show you’ve been trying to get into and finally catch up on what everyone’s been talking about.

7. Bring it back old school and go buy that book you’ve been meaning to read for forever! Make hot chocolate, grab a blanket, curl up on the couch, and read it cover to cover. 

8. Go to a comedy show. Studies show laughing helps relieve stress and improve our health and outlook on life.

9. Clean your room! I know this doesn’t sound like the most fun option, but with the terrible situation happening right now in Haiti, it’s the perfect time to finally clean out your closets for a good cause!

10. Spoil yourself. Go to a movie, get your nails done, eat an ice-cream Sunday, get a massage, go shopping. Do whatever it is that you love to do.  It is Valentine’s day afterall. Who better to spoil than yourself!

Flirtexting is a strategy. It goes beyond what you’re wearing or what your body language says (which is what is most important in real life flirting), mainly because it involves technology, gadgets, and 3G coverage.

And where there’s technology, some get scared.

“I don’t know how to work this” or “It’s too complicated for me” coupled with a hair toss and a laugh are phrases that I hear often coming from friends, co-workers or former sorority sisters (sorry girls). 

Ladies, it’s 2010 – let’s take the power back in our lives and embrace these new technologies.

Sure, I admit that sometimes it works in our favor to act like we don’t know how something works so that boy/man/crush teaches us a thing or two.

But what if the tables were turned and you taught the guy something about his Blackberry, demoed a new app for the iPhone or gave the DL on Foursquare?

Here are a few techy tips that will impress any guy.

1)      Learn a few keyboard shortcuts for your mobile phone. Everyone wonders how to jump back to the newest email on a BlackBerry (press N in a message) or how to add your PIN to a message without looking it up (type mypin)

2)      Know 2-3 names (and definitions) of cool new gadgets or software that you can bring up in conversation, like the Google Nexus One, Amazon Kindle/e-book readers, Motorola Devour, Windows 7.

3)      Learn how to customize your Twitter background. Few know how, and you’ll look awesome (plus you’ll stand out!)

4)      Research how to properly set your privacy settings on Facebook and save yourself a few embarrassing moments. Plus when he looks you up on facebook, you’ll be a mystery to the public until confirmed.

Guest blogger AME is the founder of Techyness.com, where she blogs on life, love, and the pursuit of techyness.

1. He says things like ” I’d love to take you out soon”

2. He makes plans based around something you said you liked (You mentioned you like jazz so he asks you to a jazz concert)

3. He lets you control the remote

4. He shows up right on time to all your dates

5. He picks up the phone to call you and see how your day went

6. He answers the phone when you call, even if it’s to tell you he has to call you back

7. He sends you an article he thought you might like

8. He’s super nice to all your friends and makes sure they’re having a good time when everyone is out

9. He accompanies you to the latest romantic comedy, no matter how much it might ruin his reputation

10. He texts you back within an hour