Hey Tiger!!

That was a great speech you gave today! I especially enjoyed the teary eyes, long pauses and deep stares you gave into the camera when you said, “I’m sorry.” Nice touch! Very believable. You should be in the movies. Or on the E! channel!

Anywho, my favorite part was when you said, “I convinced myself that normal rules did not apply to me. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to….thanks to money and fame. I was wrong. I was foolish.” (Tear.)

Foolish? That doesn’t even scratch the surface. I know a lot of people out there are saying things like, “you’re only human, you cheated, no big deal.” UMMM, NBD??  You cheated on your wife with like a million different women! Literally. We’re not talking, ‘I’m bored so let me see what it’s like just this one time’ cheating. We’re talking, ‘I can’t keep track of all the names, flirtexts, and possible babies I have out there’ kinda cheating. Two, totally different things. I mean, seriously, you inspired a new word by how much adultery you committed (see: Infidelitexting)!

I do applaud you on being so believable though. I was quite entertained. BTW, who wrote that speech? I’d loooove to get his or her name in-case I ever have to make a really great, politically correct apology to the media one day. Thanks in advance !

Peace. Love. Safe Text.

Debra

A clip of Tigers’ Speech