My 17 sister is going through an identity crisis and needs help. She has two persona’s: the one she displays on social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook, and the one she exhibits in her daily life around her family and at school.

Who she is in real life and how she displays herself on the Internet is worlds apart. In person, she’s soft-spoken, polite and barely speaks when others are around. Meanwhile her social media profiles scream sexy, fast-paced, loud mouthed-girl, looking for attention. She uses acronyms like “fml” (f*ck my life) to update her FB status and post photos of herself in racy clothing with puckered lips and heavy makeup.

She seems to be acting out through the Internet in ways she never would in person and it’s becoming a problem! Why is she doing this and how can I get her to see the light?

Solution:

Since your sister is shy in person, she is definitely using her on-line profile as a way to let loose  and rebel. This is normal in adolescent teens but should be addressed by adults so that it doesn’t get out of hand.

First, sit her down and explain the dangers of what she’s doing. Let her know she can get in trouble with her school, or even the law, for posting inappropriate photos and saying contemptible things. Inform her that colleges and employers both look at social networking profiles to see how potential students and employees present themselves on-line. And remind her that posting explicit photos makes her an easy target for online predators. All of these are very real, very scary realities.

It’s also likely she’s posting sexy photos of herself to gain the attention of a certain guy she likes. As her older, more knowledgeable sister, let her know that when it comes to guys, “less is more.” Explain that guys typically become less interested in girls who exposes too much too soon. Tell her that leaving a little mystery makes people want to get to know you more, so her shy-by-nature attitude, will actually help her in this case.

Lastly, try to work with her on opening up more in-person versus online. Remind her that she’s beautiful no matter what. If her end goal is to get more attention, then suggest a fun make-over and give her some social skills advice. (As a younger sister myself, I’ve always appreciated tips about love and life from my big sis…when it’s done in a constructive, non-threatenng manner.) Social networks should be used to catch-up with friends about your life, it is not meant for someone to create a new one. If things don’t get better, have her seek professional help. 

I met this smoking hot guy at a party once. He was a photographer/socialite, with scruffy dark skin, crystal blue eyes, who traveled the world and drove a motorcycle. I quickly learned he had a reputation for being quite the playboy (shocker). We chatted, he asked for my number, I said no, he asked again, I reluctantly obliged. Seeing as he was one of the hottest guys I had ever seen, I assumed that after I left the party, one of the models lurking around him would pounce and he’d forget all about me. I didn’t expect to hear from him and figured that if I did, it would be in the form of a late night text.

Much to my surprise, hot, photographer, motorcycle guy, called me two days later. I was floored. No one calls anymore. Standard protocol is to send an initial flirtext. I clearly sent him straight to voicemail and waited a day to call him back. When he finally asked me out I obviously said, “No. I’m very busy.” I knew if I turned him down he’d have three other girls lined up who’d happily go for a ride on his bike. But staying true to player form he called back to ask me out the next day, and the next, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Guys are so predictable.

In the meantime, I had recently met two other eligible bachelors, (who I hadn’t gone out with yet), who were flirtexting me. I knew very little about all three guys so the pursuit came down to who could impress me the most through their communi-dating skills. I had two guys texting me out, and one worldly, handsome hunk calling to ask me out. At this point it became a no brainer. I said yes to motorcycle guy.

The mere fact that motorcycle guy was putting in the effort to call made all the difference. Our courtship lasted about six months and the entire time he always called. I loved that. In a world where we accept date invites in 160 characters or less, making a call instead of sending a, “Hey you. Drinks 2nite? ” text, can set you apart from the rest when you need it most. Being ridiculously hot also helps.

In honor of Sex and the City 2 hitting theaters we thought we’d take a look back at some of the things that this magnificent show has taught us over the years. Here are ours, now tell us yours!

10 Things We Learned From Sex and the City

1. The guys that treat you like crap are the ones that you can’t get out of your mind
2. The rabbit is where it’s at
3. Great kisser = great in bed
4. Buy a back-up hard drive for your computer
5. Simply dating multiple guys does not make you a slut. It makes you hard to get.
6. Christian LouBoutin knows what women want, on their feet
7. Love finds you when you’re over looking for it
8. Shoes and bags are more important than rent
9. Being independent is sexy
10. Cherish your girlfriends. They’re the one’s who will be there for you when Mr. Big leaves you at the alter.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM SEX AND THE CITY?

The good news is, the “It’s not you it’s me” line, is a valid excuse. The bad news is the real reason behind why guys use it.

Most guys use the same, lame excuses when breaking-up with a girl. They throw us general lines like, “You’re too good for me,” because they think telling us the real reason they don’t want to date us, will hurt our feelings.

Well I decided to investigate this theory further, so I asked a bunch of hot guys to give me the inside scoop on what they really mean when they break-up with girls. Below are their truthful, honest, and VERY blunt answers. (Note: As blunt as these may be, I still had to edit them down for the World Wide Web. Turns out they had a lot to say on this topic, and didn’t hold back.)

 6 ridiculous, BS lines guys use to break-up with girls plus what they really mean!

The line - ”You’re marriage material and I’m not ready to settle down.”

The meaning - “You’re moving way to fast and I’m just looking for a good time.”

The line  - “I’m so stressed out with work and my personal life that I just can’t deal with a girlfriend.”

The meaning - “You stress me out. You’re boring/unintelligent/clingy. Sorry, I simply can’t date 3rd graders, and for once can you plan something exciting to do with YOUR friends?”

The line– “I’m not ready for a relationship.”

The meaning – “I’m not ready for a relationship with you! I found out you hooked up with several of my friends as well as a bunch of old, rich guys and half the football team. Later ho.”

The line – “It’s not you it’s me.”

The meaning – “It truly is me – You’re perfect, but I just can’t be locked in a relationship and have my freedom stripped away.  Plus, once you let me have sex with you, I was already thinking about the next girl that I could conquer anyways….SO then again, maybe it is you.”

The line – “I’m not over my ex yet.”

The meaning - “Dating you made me realize what a good thing I had with my ex.”

The line – “I feel like we’re moving in different directions.”

The meaning - “You’re a mad woman / alcoholic / drug addict. You have serious underlying issues and need therapy.”

What are some other classic “lines” plus their “meanings” that you’ve used/heard for breaking-up?

 Hot Girl BFF – A Single Guy’s Secret to Dating More Hot Girls

Olivia and I share a mutual guy best friend. We’ll call him Stu. Stu happens to do very well with the ladies, so we asked what his secret was. He said it’s rolling with us. We didn’t get it, so he enlightened us.

Stu says that the key to scoring a hot girl is by luring her in with other hot girls. His theory is if he’s surrounded by lots of pretty girls, by law of nature, those girls will attract other hot girls. And we must say, we think he’s right!

One day Liv and Stu were out shopping and Liv decided she wanted to go to the shoe department at Barneys (just to have a looksies). Stu was totally down to go because he knew the woman’s shoe department would harbor lots of other single ladies. Stu proceeded to force Liv to try on glamorous heels, flats, and boots, while he preyed on every hot girl he spotted. He would make eye contact with a girl, lure her in with his unsuspecting approach, and then make it known that he was not with Olivia. Olivia was skeptical at first, but by g-d it worked! Stu left with two girls’ numbers and Liv left with a new pair of Mary Jane’s.

Thinking back, spotting a hottie with a pretty girl by his side does automatically give him more street cred. Whether the girl is his best friend, his cousin or his lab partner, if she’s pretty and talking to him, then other girls are going to want to know the scoop! So if you’re single and want to date a hot girl, befriend one first, then watch as they flock your way.

SubText: What we mean VS what we text

Leave a post with a “text and subtext” to add to the list, and enter to win a free copy of Flirtexting and LOVE perfume by Harajuku Lovers! (Ends Thursday, May 6th)

Guy: Drinks Wednesday night? 

Girl: Sorry, I can’t. I’ve got a work thing. 

Subtext: Girl doesn’t like guy. If she did, she would have suggested a day when she was available to reschedule. 

The subtext is what we really mean by what we text. Texting can leave a lot up to misinterpretation, so it’s important that flirtexters are able to read subtext. Below is a list of common texts girls send to guys, and what they really mean. 

                                   TEXT                                                              SUBTEXT

Leave a post with a “text and a subtext” to add to the list, and enter to win a free copy of Flirtexting and LOVE perfume by Harajuku Lovers! (Ends Thursday, May 6th)

Guest blogger *Courtney Parks of SouthernDish reminds us that your guy doesn’t have to be raised in the south be a gentleman! 

Girls!!  I am as mad as a wet hen and it’s because of guys out there in the dating pool who don’t know how to treat a gal like a lady!  Being from the South and living on the West Coast has made me really miss the qualities of a true Southern gentleman.  However, a guy doesn’t have to be from the South to be a gentleman.  No matter where he’s from, he can still have the same chivalrous traits, just minus the twang! 

My wish for you is to demand a gentleman!  You deserve it!  TRUST ME…once you go “Southern” you won’t go back!  Bad boys are a waste of make-up, so save that last dollop of Chanel lip-gloss for a guy who is going to tell you that you look beautiful from the moment your date begins…not when he is trying to get into your knickers after a bottle of wine! 

Top 10 Signs Your Date is a Gentleman! 

1. He opens the door for you.
2. He has good table manners.
3. He pays for you and puts up a fight when you offer to pay.
4. When he meets your parents he tucks in his shirt!
5. When you walk on the street, he walks on the side closest to those fast, dangerous cars!
6. He gives you his coat when you look cold, before you say “I’m freezing!!!”
7. He CALLS YOU.
8. Flowers arrive at your door randomly.
9. He takes charge!  Southern men plan the dates.
10. He holds your purse when you need him to.

 *Courtney Parks is a Georgia peach living in LA who dishes about the latest celebs, fashion, TV, and movies on her blog SouthernDish.  Like a true Southern belle, she wouldn’t dare talk trash about anyone, unless of-course it’s followed by the justifiable saying, “Bless her heart,” in which case all bets are off!

Calling “dibs” on a potential love interest you spot right away is like calling shotgun for the front seat of the car. It’s annoying and somewhat immature, but it needs to be done.

Why do we need to call “dibs” on some babesauraus we spot amongst our circle of friends, siblings or co-workers? It’s simple. It’s what our gut tells us to do in order to deflect drama (just in case). It’s a game of “what if” that we play with ourselves, which leads us to want to stake our claim early to our friends.

When you call dibs, your brain is processing: What if he comes over to say hi? What if she gives me her number? What if the eye contact/smiling leads to a conversation, phone call, or even date?  Bottom line, we’re covering our tushies in case our friends are thinking the same thing. When done correctly, calling ”dibs” could save friendships and well…heartache.

We outline 4 etiquette rules so you can feel good about calling “dibs”:

1. Less observing, more talking. Spotting someone far away and calling dibs based on looks alone is a no-no. You should always have a conversation with the love interest to see if there’s any sort of spark or emotional connection before pulling out the d-card. After all, even tall, dark and handsome types can be total dial-tones.

2. Don’t over do “dibs”. You can’t abuse the d-card, because you’ll loose friends. Anyone that smiles your way doesn’t qualify for a “dibs” call out. Be selective and only do the calling if you feel a magnetic pull towards someone. Otherwise, meet lonely nights, your new bff.

3. Avoid a dibs showdown. If you and your friend call dibs simultaneously, the rule of thumb is to bow out gracefully. It’s usually never worth the fight, so save the friendship.

 4. Don’t freak out when the tables get turned. So things don’t go exactly to plan? Move on and let your friend move-in. If your love interest is more into your friend than you, c’est la vie. Be a sport and don’t stand in the way. It’ll make for a great wedding speech.

All’s fair in love and dibs, kids.

xo

Do you have a friend who always calls “dibs” first?? Tell us about it!

Sandy and Danny met at #5 on our list.

Where will you meet your summer lovin this year?

Top 10 Places to Meet People this Summer … outside of a Bar.

1. BBQ – Barbecue sauce on your shirt and a beer in your hand makes for the perfect casual setting to approach the girl stuffing a hot dog in her mouth.
2. Pool party – Ask the pretty ladies laying out to score you on your cannon ball technique. Shoot for a lousy score then ask them to kindly show you how it’s done.
3. Birthday dinner –A lot of times guests can bring a friend to these dinners, so the chances of meeting a friend of a friend and hitting it off are good!
4. Rooftop Happy Hour – Happy hour takes on a double meaning when you combine half-priced alcohol with a rooftop full of good-looking singles.
5. In the water – On a hot day hit up the beach for some fun in the sun (chances are you aren’t the only one with that idea!) Look for a cutie in the water and make a splash near by.
6. In the park – Ultimate Frisbee anyone?
7. At a friends wedding – Weddings are swarming with eligible bachelors ready to mingle. Shimmy up next to a groomsmen and see who has a better twist and a louder shout!
8. On vacation – People are relaxed, friendly, and more willing to talk to complete strangers while on vacation. Take advantage of this and ask the group sitting next to yours at Senior Frogs what they’re doing later.
9. At the airport – Summer travel is super popular which means more delays. While doing absolutely nothing waiting for your flight, strike up a conversation with a person who looks like someone you’d like to get to know. If you hit it off, see if you can switch seats to continue the conversation for a smooth take-off.
10. Outdoor concert – Buy tickets on the lawn and set up next to a group that looks like fun. Since you already know you like the same music, suggest a band they may not have heard of. Whatever you do, try not to sing along too loudly and scare them off.

WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR SUMMER LOVE? LEAVE A COMMENT AND LET US KNOW!

Games. We’re not talking Jenga or Clue here people we’re talking about the ‘thrill of the chase.’  Some folks say it’s a waste of time, yet others live and date by it. We’re just here to state the facts. The game has been around since the beginning of time. The only thing new about the game is the means by which people are playing it.

A hundred years ago it was played in person. Example: Guy sends girl letter, girl ignores letter. Guy stops by girl’s house for a visit, girl has no choice but to oblige guy with a date.

Ten years ago it was played over the phone. Example: Guy gets girls number and waits two days to call. Girl sends guy to voicemail then waits another day to call back. Eventually they get on the phone and a date is set.

Today the game is still played over the phone, but this time it takes place over text. Example: Guy gets girls number and waits at least 24 hours to send initial text (but probably texts sooner; i.e. that same night in drunken stupor). Girl responds to text within 24 hours. Guy and girl have funny back-and-forth banter that usually ends in a set date.

As you can see, the game has been around forever and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. It’s important to remember that the basic idea for the game remains the same over time, but the medium will change as our culture changes. So if you are a firm believer in the game, it’s imperative to learn the new rules and apply them to your “game” in-order to keep up!

Are you a believer in the game?